Dan Vs Feelings
by so-absurd-so-obscene
Summary: Dan x Chris (buddyshipping) Chris and Elise are getting a divorce so Chris temporarily moves in with Dan. As time passes, and they begin to learn more about one another, their relationship grows. Confessions are made and their friendship becomes something more.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Yo, yo. I've been bored and also majorly dissappointed by the lack of Buddyshipping fics... Actually, the lack of 'Dan Vs.' Fanfiction, in general. Sorry if this sucks and everyone is majorly out of character but I'll try my best. Throughout this, there's definitely going to be some explicit gay sex, masturbation and some swearing, I guess. And the shitty program I have to write this with has no spellcheck and I have like one friend, and she would feel very uncomfortable beta-ing this.. so sorry, but there may be a few spelling and grammatical errors. I'll try to keep them minimal though. _

Chris' POV:

Every night, I go to sleep thinking, 'I'll do it tomorrow.' I wake up thinking 'Okay, I have to do it today'. But I never do. I don't know why. Am I afraid of something? Afraid of being alone? Afraid of hurting her? Whatever it is, it's not worth it. I can't live like this anymore. I've never ever cheated on her; that's an awful thing to do. But you could say that I've been emotionally cheating on her and it's driving me mad. I love her but I'm not _in love_ with her.. Because.. I'm in love with Dan.

He's so cute.. such a perfectionist.. so obsessive and meticulous about everything. He really doesn't care what anyone else thinks of him. He lives to please himself, not others. More people should be like that. Dan is his own person. I don't know anyone else who would go to the extreme lengths that he does for revenge, usually over ordeals that would seem silly to most people. He comes off as being an angry, pessimistic jerk if you don't know him well enough.. but it's not that he's always angry.

The thing is; he's a dreamer. He knows he needs to act upon things with all of his strength if he wants them to change. His emotions are all very exaggerated because he feels strongly about the things he cares about. Whether it be anger, hatred, confusion, jealousy... or even ..love, he expresses his feelings with emphasis and passion. Don't get me wrong, I have no idea how he feels about me. I meant love as in platonic-friendly- love. Sure, he can be very demanding and often take advantage of me, but there have been times where he has shown that he really does care about me. He just shows it in a different way that I sometimes don't understand. He also seems to really care about Mr. Mumbles. Who would've guessed that he has a soft spot for cats?

And his body, don't even get me started. He's so small and adorable, but he knows how to take charge and doesn't let his small stature drag him down. Dan's facial expressions are always really cute too.. even when he's angry. I can only imagine how unbelievably sexy he looks when he comes.. I bet he'd be really embarassed and innocent during sex.. And when he sleeps and looks so peaceful and pure.. I yearn to just.. kiss him all over, or snuggle up to his back and wrap my arms around him. He's really soft and chubby and I love it... I'll bet he feels nice and squishy and would be amazing to cuddle with.. I just want to lay down and rest my head on his lap.. or have him put his arm around me.. or hug me or.. basically, have him show affection towards me in any way.. Sigh.. I'm so fucking desperate, it's disgusting.

I feel bad thinking about things like this because not only is it not fair to Elise, but it's not fair to Dan. I feel dirty, knowing that he's completely oblivious to the fact that I think of him in such a way. And it's strange.. because I've never really thought of her like that. She's nice, she's pretty, she's unique.. I bet there are tons of guys who would line up to be in my position but I'm not one of them. We're just not compatible. We keep secrets from one another, I run off with Dan every time I have the chance, we have absolutely NO common interests, I hate her family, she tries to control me constantly, she wants me to change who I am... Our marriage is slowly deteriorating day by day and I've had enough. We started dating because my parents were concerned about the amount of time I spend with Dan. They figured it was time I grew up, settled down with a girl and had kids. I wanted to please them so I figured that my attraction to Dan would just fade away like a silly crush and tried to move on.. It's not like he'd ever love me back, anyway. But, the more time I spend away from him, the more I long to be with him. No matter how hard I try, Elise and I are never going to work out. Today is the day I'm going to finally leave her.

I dragged myself out of bed and took a shower, trying to think of how I was going to do this.. After getting dressed and taking a few deep breaths, I went into the kitchen. It was a weekend, so Elise was on the couch, casually watching television. Things had been rough between us for a while.. we didn't really ever smile when greeting or kiss eachother on the cheek or anything. She looked up at me, her facial expression saying, 'what is it?' One thing I can give her credit for is that she knows when I'm thinking about something.

"We need to talk," I said in a stern, serious voice, even though I probably sounded extremely nervous.

She sighed, "Yes, Chris. We do."

It wasn't surprising that she knew we weren't working out.. however, her completely worn out sounding attitude on the subject did catch me off guard. "Yeah, um.. Listen Elise", I started, "You're great and everything, you're beautiful, intelligent, thoughtful, funny, but we both know that we're just not right for each other. It's not right for you to throw your life away with someone like me who will never be able to give you what you need. Our lives are just so different and you deserve better than me... I want a divorce." My mouth felt dry. I couldn't believe I was actually saying this. Of course, I don't regret it. At all. But it's strange that me, timid, pushover Chris would be the one to initiate such a proposition.

She didn't seem surprised at all, instead replying in a distant, sad voice, "Don't be so hard on yourself, we're just not the right people for each other. If it's not awkward, I hope we can still be friends.. I really do care for you Chris, just not in that way. Not anymore."

Not anymore? I wondered when it was that her feelings for me faded and I suddenly felt guilty. There was really a time where she was in love with me and I took advantage of that, using her as an object, a tool to please my parents. I swallowed the lump in my throat, "Yeah, staying friends would be great." I cleared my throat, wondering what else I could say. The air was thick and I was sweating profusely. Man, this was awkward. "Uh.."

I was cut off by Elise, "Tell me one thing, Chris," pausing momentarily, then continuing with her question, "Did you cheat on me?"

My eyes widened, "What kind of a question is that?! I-" I was cut off by Elise.

Her voice was louder and more stern this time as she repeated herself, "Just answer the damn question, Chris. Did you ever cheat on me?"

"No. Never," I assured her. She nodded, seeming to believe me. I wondered what it was that had caused her to suspect me of doing such a thing. After a moment of avoiding eye contact and biting my lip in silence, I spoke, "So.. what now?"

Elise blatantly and with little emotion said, "Well other than financially, there's nothing else to be said. I suppose we meet up in a week or so to discuss that.. I assume you'll be staying with Dan? So I'll stay here until we sell the place and arrange future plans."

What she said about Dan really freaked me out. Was there any way she knew about how I felt towards him? "Wait.. why do you assume I'll be at Dan's?"

"He's your best friend, isn't he? And you've stayed over there before, he doesn't seem to mind. Unless you want to share a house with your soon to be ex-wife for the next little bit. I just thought that would be a bit weird is all." Elise explained. Now I felt like an idiot for overanalyzing it..

"Oh, okay. Yeah, I suppose that's what I'll do." I started, "Um well, I guess I'll pack a suitcase for the next little bit, you know, my clothes and stuff.." She nodded, and I went off to pack.

I got out of the car when I arrived at Dan's apartment. I came to the door and knocked, still having no idea what I planned on saying. But come on, it's Dan. I can talk to him about anything, no problem. Not to mention, he'll probably be overjoyed that I left her. He's always hated her getting in the way of our friendship. Finally, he answered the door, "Chris?"

"Yeah, hey Dan.. Can I come in?" He opened the door, letting me in, then closed it after me. We went and sat down on the couch. "So.. I uh.. I left Elise." I saw his face light up.

"Really?! Good for you, buddy. I see you finally took my advice," He patted me on the back, beaming.

"Yeah, something like that.. Anyway, I need a place to live while we're seperated and before we totally figure out how we're splitting everything up.." My voice trails off.

"Are you saying that you want to stay here?" He asks, confirming what I meant.

I nod, "Is that alright?"

"Sure, it'll be just like old times! Like a sleepover! You and me, no Elise to bother us!" Dan grins.

"Alright, my stuff is in the car. I'll just go get it right now, okay?"

When I return with my suitcase, Dan is throwing another one of his fits. "You already packed a full-on suitcase?! What makes you think I would have unquestionably let you stay here?! What if I had said no?!"

"You wouldn't have," I said. That was the blatant truth. There was no way Dan would pass up an opportunity to have me here for him constantly. It would be far more convenient than him having to call me at various times of day to help him with his schemes.

He glares at me, "Shut up." I smirked. He knew I was right. I dragged my suitcase into his room, not really knowing where else to put it.

My stomach grumbled, "Hey Dan? I'm hungry. Want to go to Burgerphile?"

"Fine but you're paying," Dan said. I sighed, with a smirk. It was as if nothing had changed. I could always rely on Dan to cheer me up, even if he wasn't doing anything particularily nice.

Dan sat next to me in the front seat and we drove in silence for a bit. Suddenly, he spoke, "So, why did you leave her? Whenever I told you marriage is a scam, you dismissed it and claimed that you were 'happy together' and all that nonsense."

I sighed. I knew he'd bring it up eventually. Although I couldn't tell him the full story, I could at least give him the reasons I gave Elise. They were all valid reasons too, it's not like I was lying to him. I explained, "We just didn't have anything in common. She was always trying to control my life. And to be honest, I never was really ..in love with her. I just got married because that's what society and my parents told me was the right thing to do. But when she started talking about having kids and all kinds of crazy things like that, I knew it'd be better to quit while I'm ahead. No way I'll ever be ready for that."

"Well it sure took you long enough. Why didn't you ever mention any of this to me?" Dan questioned.

I shrugged, "I guess I just... thought I could handle it on my own. And you'd probably just tell me the usual, that I should leave her."

Dan flashed a smug grin, "Well I was right, wasn't I? You should've listened to me earlier."

He was starting to be a bit annoying. "Well," I explained, "It's not that I didn't want to listen to you, I just didn't know how to go about-"

"Shut up," Dan commands, "I was right, admit it."

"You were right," I sigh, not wanting him to go off on another of his rants. It was easier this way and what did I really have to lose? My pride? He'd taken that from me long ago. I was just 'the sidekick'. Now that I really think about it, being closer friends with Dan is great, I'm really happy about that.. But, I'm just a .. minion to him. Even calling us 'friends' is pushing it a bit. I doubt he cares about me at all, let alone _loves me_! My optimism from earlier had plummetted when I was slapped with the reality of the situation. Is he even interested in guys? He's said a few things that could be possible indications of that but you never know with Dan. And there's no way I could bring something like that up subtly. What would he think if he found out I'm interested in him? I may as well throw any hopes of a romantic relationship with him away. But one thing I can say indisputably is that we are going to become closer, living together for the next while and everything. Even if we just know eachother better as friends, that's great. Friendship isn't just some shitty cancellation prize. I'm really happy just to spend time with him. I need to stop overthinking everything..

We arrived at Burgerphile, and decided to go in and eat. We weren't in any hurry. I didn't have to be home for Elise or anything, which was awesome.. though I felt a bit guilty for moving on so quickly. I wondered how Elise was doing, if she was taking it as well as I was. We both knew it was coming, so emotionally, we had both prepared ourselves for it. It still felt wrong though. There had been no tears, no long conversation about it, no fighting. We just kind of ..calmly and quietly agreed on a divorce, no questions asked? I can't say I didn't expect it, but this all seemed like a bizarre dream.

When it was our turn to order, Dan gave the teen at the counter his usual speech, "I'll have a plain burger, without cheese. Got that? _WITHOUT_. _CHEESE. _I am lactose intolerant. If you give me a burger with cheese on it, I will die. And then I will come back and _haunt you_, do you understand me?!" Dan received a nod, indicating that they would be sure to get his order right. He could be quite scary when he's angry. I ordered next, and we sat down at a booth, across from each other. I finished eating before Dan, despite ordering far more food than he did. Ever since the deep-fried bacon speed-eating contest, it's become even more of a habit than before to eat quickly. Once Dan was done, I decided to initiate conversation.

"So, Dan. Anything exciting happening lately? Any plans for revenge?"

Dan replied instantly, "No.. I'm actually becoming quite suspicious though. Someone must be planning something _big _against me." He then sighed and added, under his breath, "Whenever I'm actually happy, something always has to go horribly wrong and fuck it up."

"What was the last part?" I asked, not hearing all of what he had said.

Dan looked surprised for a split second, presumably not aware that he had spoken out loud. He then glared and muttered, "What? Nothing, I didn't say anything." I raised an eyebrow at him. "Shut up," he added, noticing the fact that I knew he was lying and was mildly curious as to what he had meant.

He changed the subject soon after, complaining about various minor inconveniences. I listened, nodding every once in a while, but primarily, just hearing the sound of his voice and admiring him. I loved hearing him talk. Nothing but me and his honest opinions. Whenever he went off on rants like this, I felt as if I were speaking to his soul..

After a while, Dan alerted me that some show he liked would be playing on his television soon so we'd better leave if we wanted to catch the beginning of it.

After watching several episodes of several obscure shows that Dan seemed to be interested in had finished, and I had attempted to find edible food within his fridge containing nothing but expired lunchmeat (which I still ate), I decided to go to bed.

"So.. where do you want me to sleep?" I asked.

Dan shrugged, "Just because you're my guest doesn't mean you're getting my bed. The couch is there, the floor is there. Take your pick. I'll be in my bed." I nodded, choosing the couch. I put on my onesie pajamas from the suitcase and fell sound asleep on his couch. It had been a long day, even compared to my usual days, going along with Dan on his quests for revenge. Though I have to say, I drastically prefer the fun, eventful days causing ruckus with Dan to days like this, hands down.

Dan's POV:

I stripped down to my boxers and got into bed. Chris being here was strange. Not bad, necessarily. But weird, nonetheless. He was usually constantly concerned about 'getting home to Elise' or 'not staying out too late' or 'not doing anything dangerous'. I chuckled maniacally. He was all mine now, free to help me wreak havoc whenever I needed him to, and with no strings attached! I could already tell that this was going to be great.

Long term, though, having him sleep on the couch every night would be a bit uncomfortable.. I suppose my bed would be large enough for us to share... but that would be weird, right? He'd catch on that I'm interested in him if I ever acted so unusually nice like that. And there's absolutely no way in Hell that he likes me. He's technically still married, for Christ's sake. Plus, I'm a guy. He's straight as a board. Why would I ruin our friendship, as sick, twisted and unconventional as it is, for a hopeless pursuit of romance? I sighed into my pillow, wondering why I'm such a pathetic, lovesick jerk, as I allowed sleep to claim me.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Okay, so approximately 1 week has passed in the story. Chris just got back from Elise's, discussing how they're gonna split up all their stuff. I dunno much about divorce and all that, if you haven't noticed. And don't be all, "Well then why are you writing about it?" because fuck you, Chris is married. He can either get a divorce or cheat on her. I really don't like cheating so divorce is inevitable in this setting. Anyway, so I'm just going to skip over most of the parts having to do with that, unless they're moderately important._

_Oh and thank you so much for the reviews and follows and all that jazz. It's very much appreciated. It also motivates me to write faster when I know that there are a few people looking forward to new chapters!_

_I do not own Dan Vs. Sorry, I forgot the dislaimer last chapter.. I didn't own it back then either._

Chris POV:

I arrived home around 7:30 from my.. what should I call it? Meeting? With Elise. Dan was sitting on the couch, watching TV. I rolled my eyes and smirked. Big surprise there. "Took you long enough!" Dan yelled, before asking in the same tone of voice, "Anything eventful occur? Let me guess, Elise completely screwed you over and took all your money?"

"Dan!" I exclaimed. "Elise isn't a bad person! We were very civil and talked about it like logical adults! So no, nothing particularily eventful happened."

"That's what she wants you to believe," Dan whispered in an eerie voice.

I looked at him in disbelief, questionably raising an eyebrow, "You're insane."

Later that night:

I lay awake on the couch, just thinking about everything. About Dan, about Elise, about my future plans, about trying to sleep, about bacon.. My mind was all over the place. There was no way I'd be able to sleep any time soon. I watched the clock as time ticked away. Due to boredom, I began looking through Dan's fridge. One negative thing I could say about living with Dan was that he really didn't understand the concept of grocery shopping. His fridge was _constantly _empty. All throughout our friendship, whenever he needed anything, he'd call me up or randomly arrive at my house and we'd go out and get it. He'd get what he needed for that exact moment, no planning ahead. Nevertheless, I was still somewhat hungry. I settled on just pouring myself a glass of tap water, seeing as that was my only option, really.

Suddenly, I was interrupted from my trivial roaming of boredom when I heard a bloodcurdling shriek coming from Dan's room! It was Dan; something was wrong! Spitting out my water, dropping the glass onto the counter, I rushed into his room to find him sitting up in bed, breathing heavily. Running to his side and grabbing hold of his shoulders, in attempt to get him to snap out of it, I asked in a loud, concerned voice, "Dan! What's wrong?!"

After a while, his breathing slowed, returning to normal and he actually.. looked a bit embarrassed? I repeated myself, in a calmer voice, "Dan, what happened? What's wrong?"

He blushed, mumbling, "I had a nightmare.." It was then that I understood. There had been several other times where he had been like this, childish and innocent, as unlikely as that sounds. One time, he thought there was a monster under his bed. Another time, we were camping and he was unable to sleep because his plan hadn't worked, so he decided to stay with Elise and I. It was times like those, when he showed fear or opened up a bit more to me, where I really acknowledged the fact that he truly is only human. He isn't just an angry, vengeance-seeking misanthrope! He gets scared! He feels lonely! Sometimes, he needs someone to lean on. I feel flattered and priviledged knowing that I'm the only person he's really opened up to in such a way. Still, it caught me off guard, seeing him so fragile and afraid. I had to make sure that everything was okay.

I climbed into the bed, next to him and began drawing circles on his back with my hand, in effort to soothe and relax him. "It was just a dream.. it's going to be okay," I whispered to him. Suddenly, I felt his arms wrapping around my shoulders and his face in the crook of my neck. He was... _hugging me?_

Dan POV:

I was still half-asleep when Chris heard my screams and came in to find me hyperventilating. I didn't know what I was doing. He began attempting to comfort me, putting his arm around me, rubbing my back gently, whispering calming words into my ear.. He was too close. I lost control. I was weak. But at the moment, it just felt so right. Dealing with horrible nightmares by myself whenever they occured was ineffective. I never truly felt like things were any better... even after telling myself repeatedly that it was only a dream. I would lay awake, terrified for the rest of the night, afraid that the dreams would return if I allowed sleep to claim me. Having someone here for me, especially when that person was Chris, made everything seem like it would be okay in the end. I buried my face into his neck, wrapping my arms loosely around him. It was then that the sobs began racking through my body. Tears rolled down my face and onto Chris' chest. I couldn't believe it. I was crying. In front of Chris. The one person whose opinion of me actually mattered had seen me at my worst, weak and pathetic. But at the moment, I didn't care. I needed a shoulder to cry on. "Ssh, don't worry, I'm here," he whispered, wrapping his arm around my waist, in a gesture that he was there for me.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. His tone was soft and sweet. There were no ulterior motives behind his question. He didn't want me to do or say anything that made me uncomfortable and that was truly admirable. I nodded my head no. He completely understood and didn't push the topic any further. Soon, Chris' grip on me tightened slightly, holding me closer to him. We embraced one another for what felt like forever. I could hear his heart beating and feel his chest moving in and out with his breaths. He was so nice and warm and strong. I just wanted to stay with him like that and never leave.

Then.. I don't know what I was thinking. I must've been out of my mind. I pulled my face back a bit and looked him straight in his beautiful, welcoming eyes, with a shy, thankful smile. His hand reached up to stroke my face. He then wiped the tears from my eyes and stared right back at me, a small, delicate, consoling smile forming on his face as well. I shifted slightly, so I was sitting on his lap and leaned in closer. He moved his face in a bit closer as well, so our noses were just barely touching. "Thank you," I muttered, my face contorting a bit, trying to say those two dreadful words. Thanking people is usually not my style but I was half asleep and he had really made me feel a lot better, just by being there for me. He deserved a thank you for putting up with me all the time, anyway. Feeling especially daring for some reason, I placed my hand onto his cheek. He appeared quite surprised, but didn't oppose. Moving my mouth in closer towards him and tilting my head, I pressed my lips against his, closing my eyes. It was pure and chaste, lasting only a few seconds but still, it felt completely and utterly amazing. If I were to die right that moment, I'd finally have something to show for my life other than my criminal record. I pulled back from him and planted a small peck on his forehead. "Chris..?" I murmured.

"Yeah?" Chris replied, gazing at me in a dream-like trance.

I nuzzled his neck a bit more, before commanding him, "Stay here tonight." He nodded and we both lay down, next to one another.

Chris snuggled up against my back, draping his arms over me and then whispered, very quietly, directly in my ear, "Good night," before he leaned over and kissed my cheek. I blushed and turned my face away from him, into my pillow. I felt his heartbeat on my back, his warm breath on my neck and our legs intertwined together. I fell asleep in that position, and let me tell you; it was probably the best sleep of my entire life.

I awoke in my bed, however, something felt different. It felt as if there was a massive bear laying on top of me..? I looked around, to find Chris sprawled across the bed, most of his body weight focused on crushing me. Memories from the previous night came flooding back to me and I suddenly felt ashamed. I didn't regret it happening. It was more like ... I was afraid of what Chris would think of me. I'm the one always telling him what to do and acting as if I'm superior to him. Yet I just woke up in the same bed as him after he spent the night comforting me like a fucking weakling. I kicked him to get him off of me, and he awoke with a groan. I sat up and glared at him. "Morning beautiful," he grinned, looking up at me.

"Shut up," I muttered, kicking him lightly, "Don't talk to me like that. Last night, nothing fucking happened. Forget everything, do you understand me?" Damn, it really hurt to tell him something like that, especially when it was all my fault and I was yelling at him for it.. His eyes widened.

"Sure, I'll pretend that nothing happened.. but why, Dan?" Chris asked, his voice full of hurt.

I sighed, avoiding eye contact, "Just because."

Chris put his hand on my shoulder, "Dan, please. Give me a real reason, maybe I can help. You're acting like more happened than what actually did."

"Fine," I sighed, caving in. I really do care about him, not telling him would just make matters worse.. Continuing, making sure not to look him in the eyes, I added, "You're my best friend, Chris. In fact, you're my only friend. I don't know what I'd do without you. I just.. I can't lose you. I don't want to complicate things. I don't want to be clingy and weak. I don't want you to see me when I'm like this." There I go again, unintentionally sounding like even more of a dependent weakling. I was letting my walls down, and I hated myself for it. I saw Chris chuckling quietly. "What the fuck's your problem?! Is something about what I said _funny _to you?!" I shrieked, about to fucking punch him out. I opened up to him and he had the fucking nerve to laugh in my face!? You've gotta be kidding me.

"No, no! Sorry," He began to clarify, "It's the fact that you thought my feelings towards you changed after seeing you like that. Whether you're angry and vengeful or sweet and honest with your feelings, you're still adorable! I love you for who you are!" After realizing what he had said, Chris' eyes widened in surprise and he immediately slapped his hands over his mouth. He just... told me he loves me? In hearing that he completely returns my feelings towards him, I felt like I could trust him a bit more. Did I have something to do with the downfall of his marriage? I felt bad but it lasted about half a second. Elise was wrong for him anyway. He's better off without her. Anyway, back to something that actually matters.. Chris said he loves me! He loves me! I had to respond before he retracted his statement, claiming that he misspoke or something.

"I'm not adorable, I'm manly as hell," I glared. He opened his mouth to speak but I interrupted him, "Though I suppose I ..feel warmly towards you as well." Chris' sad demeanor completely changed.

"You do?" He asked, in a quiet voice. I nodded, blushing. We sat there in silence for a while, before Chris finally broke it. "So, do you- do you.."

"Do I what, Chris? Get on with it," I commanded.

It appeared that he had changed his mind on what he was going to say, as he sighed and shook his head. "Do you want me to make pancakes?"

I expected him to say something a bit more important. Usually, he'd just go and make pancakes for me, no questions asked. But still, pancakes are pancakes and I love me some good pancakes. "Sure, I've always said that marrying Elise caused your pancake making skills to suffer. I suppose we'll see now whether they've returned to their previous deliciousness."

"Great, so I'll head out to the store and get supplies. I'll probably get some other things to stock up your fridge with too. You coming?" Chris asked.

I raised an eyebrow at him with an _are you kidding me_ stare, "What do you think?" He smiled, and we headed out to the car.


End file.
